Message in the Bones: The Illusion of Control and the Strength of Surrender
Contributed by Tamara Zenobia, Diviner & Healing Arts Medium
There comes a moment in life when you’ve done everything you know how to do. You have showed up. You tried. You planned it out. You prayed on it. And still, things don’t move the way you want them to. That moment can feel like failure. Like defeat. Like something has slipped through your fingers that you should have been able to hold onto. But what if that moment isn’t defeat at all? What if it’s the very shift that begins to move everything in your favor?
This reflection didn’t come out of nowhere. It came in the middle of a very real moment in my own life, one where I found myself face to face with something I couldn’t control, no matter how much I wanted to. I had to ask myself: what is the best decision I can make in this situation? And when the answer came, it wasn’t what I thought it should be.
No one likes to feel out of control. Control gives us a sense of safety. It tells us we’re steering the ship, that we know where we’re going. So, when life interrupts that illusion, it can feel deeply unsettling, like we’ve somehow done something wrong. But life has a way of reminding us that we don’t know everything.
No matter how experienced, intuitive, or prepared we are, there will always be situations that stretch us beyond what we understand. Nature itself teaches us this. The seasons change without asking for permission. The tide comes in and goes out whether we are ready or not.
So, the question becomes: when control slips away, what do we do next? Instead of labeling the moment as failure, what if we asked a different question: what is this moment in time trying to teach me? This question has a way of shifting the energy from failure to empowered, because now, instead of resisting the experience, you begin to lean into it. You begin to listen. You begin to notice what is opening, even as something else is closing.
I’m learning that sometimes what feels like giving up is allowing yourself to be held in a way you didn’t think you needed. Letting go doesn’t mean giving up. It means releasing the grip you had on how things are “supposed” to look. And in that release, something unexpected happens: space. Space for new ideas; space for a better path; space for something you couldn’t see before because you were too busy trying to force what wasn’t working.
Some of the greatest turns in life don’t come from having everything under control. They come from surrender, intentional, aware and willing. I do feel like these past few years of my own life have been all about this lesson of surrendering control in certain areas.
I’d like to leave you with this question: where in my life am I holding on so tight that I can’t see what’s trying to open for me?
There may be a few things that come up, but I challenge you in this season of winter breakup to let some things melt away with the snow and get a fresh outlook on your situation.
Thanks for exploring life through the bones with me. If this spoke to you, visit tamarazenobia.com and reach out through the contact page. Until next time, peace.