My Candy Cigarette
Contributed by JJ Krueger
He’s bad for me
He’s bad for me and I know it
Like a cigarette covered in sugar
It burns but god does it taste good
I’m crying like I cried when we were together
When I was afraid of loosing him
But in reality I was the one who was backing away
Step by step
My exit echoing in the back of my mind
Every day for the past 10 months
I left you
But you left me with deeper scars
Like an addict or a moth
I’m drawn back to you
My bug zapper disguised as my savior light
My relapse in a bottle waiting to happen
I shake at the thought of hearing your voice again
Or making eye contact and seeing the same eyes I wrote pages about
This time last year
I despise the fact that my friends know your eye color and
the way your smile made me feel
Now it’s like a roller coaster ride I am forced onto against my will
Stomach grinding unceremoniously until the gears crack
and I’m stuck on the ride forever
He’s bad for me
And I know it
So I haven’t said a word to you since April 24th
When you gave me all my stuff back in two trash bags
Clothes still soaked because your dryer broke
After I handed you what little I still had in a box neatly
folded half closed so nothing would break