Contributed by Huhnkie Lee
Greetings, this is Lee in the Valley. Not sure whether this essay would be published at all, published before the Alaska Republican Primary Election (8/18/2020), or thereafter. But hey, let’s dance ’til music lasts, shall we?
Since we don’t have crystal ball or local election poll, there’s no way of telling who’s gonna win in Senate D race in Greater Wasilla area. There are six of us running and I’d vote for any one of them, as they’re all great //!-)
Now that the election result is unknown, we can fantasize about what would happen after the election. If I lose and this gets published after the election, we’re gonna have a good laugh, lol. But me losing the election, I’d still call that a success. It’s because during the campaign, I met wonderful people, learned from them, and stayed out of trouble as I’ve been busy, as idle hands become a fallen angel’s playground.
So what if I lose? Oh, no problem. Before the election season, I spent time studying mathematics independently. The problem I’d worked on is “Goldbach’s Conjecture”, which says any even number can be expressed as a summation of two prime numbers. E.g., 8=5+3, 14=7+7, etc. So yes, if I lose the primary election, I’ll get right back to the world of prime numbers. I kinda miss it, you see lol.
What if I win? Well, I’ll continue to campaign, of course, ’til the general election on 11/3/2020. But I’d do it differently from what I’ve been doing. Then how have I been campaigning? I’ll tell ya. //:-)
It’s a one-man-campaign with a few pennies in his pocket on a shoestring budget. I’d go to karaoke bars and dance clubs and sing and dance. Then I hand out my campaign cards that I made with photo paper and home printer and paper cutter. I’d go to local political or governmental meetings and use 3-minute speech time as a citizen. I’d write commentaries to local newspapers, and call to political radio talk shows.
If I win the Republican Primary, then I’ll get financial support from Alaska Republican Party and local political associations affiliated with Republican Party. Then, I can start putting up road signs. So, what would I say on road signs? Let’s design this together.
How about customization to each town in the district? I wanna make it poetic. The signs would read as follows. “Big Lake, where the lake is grand, as ample as Floater’s generosity.” “Meadow Lakes, where the green meadow oversees the blue water.” “Point MacKenzie, where the Alaskan pristine forest meets the wide Pacific Ocean.” “Knik-Fairview, where the millennia-old Alaskan history resides and where the view is so fair.” “North Lakes, where the water birds calls home and rest their wings.” “Wasilla, where the sky is beautiful and people are bountiful.”
Of course, at the end and bottom of each road sign board, it’d say, “Please Consider Huhnkie Lee for Alaska State Senate, Thank You!” The idea is, democracy, rule by the people. People come first, a humble public servant places himself at the end, at the bottom. That’s how it’s supposed be, right? I wanna do it right, so.
In democracy, people are the kings and queens. Back in the days, they used to say, “The King can’t be wrong. The Queen is always right. The King is the Law. The Queen is absolute.” Today, we can safely say, “The People can’t be wrong. The People are always right. The People is the Law. The People is absolute.”
So no matter how the election turns out, say, people vote for someone other than me and that person get elected, I’d say, “People are absolute. People can’t be wrong.” I’d support that new senator, 100%. It’s because I believe in democracy, where people are the kings and queens, the absolute monarchs, who can’t be wrong.
Let’s continue with the fantasy. Whether I win or lose in Alaska State Senate Election this year, in year 2022, I will run for U.S. Senate Election. Why so soon? It’s because if I win this year, I think we can eliminate crimes, homelessness, and yes, the spruce tree beetles, in less than two years. How? Because we are smart, efficient, effective people.
If I win, I’ll make appointments with governmental officials and local business owners to have one-on-one meetings. It’d be information gathering phase. We’ll kill three birds with one stone. We’ll hire homeless people so they work with logging professionals to fell spruce trees killed by beetles. They’re called bark beetles because they and their larvae live only in the barks.
Next, we will transport the felled trees to the prison. Inmates will de-bark the trees and turn logs into lumbers. We will also transport human waste to the prison. Inmates will burn the barks and branches to heat up the human waste to sterilize it, and turn it into manure and compost. With the lumber, we will let prisoners and homeless people build cabins and fences so they can live there, right next to the prison building.
We’ll make a documentary thereof and become internationally famous!
